Could it be that “The Donald” really is the guy who should be running the country?
By Jim Kempton
Donald Trump is an American icon.
But when you run for president, almost every candidate is criticized for one thing or another. That’s why “The Donald” could be such a powerful candidate. On every issue he’s got the others beat—call it a trump card.
The big crisis with Bill Clinton when he ran was the charges of womanizing. That would be no problem. Trump knows exactly how to handle pesky media snoops: “You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media writes as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of a**.” It makes a great campaign slogan: He could simply ask “Are you better off than you were four wives ago?”
George W. Bush was accused of evading combat duty by joining the National Guard. Trump on the other hand has done battle with Barbara Walters, Lindsey Graham and seen hand-to-hand combat with Rosie O’Donnell.
John Kerry’s presidential campaign was damaged by the “swift boat” accusations that because he was shot in the buttocks he wasn’t really a war hero. Taking an open watercraft down enemy rivers in a full-on firefight only qualifies if you are hit in the right spot. But “The Donald” trumped that accusation by a rifle length.
“John McCain’s not a war hero,” Trump recently said. “He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured.”
Apparently being tortured for five years in a Vietnamese prison after being shot down over enemy territory doesn’t count either.
Obama has gotten into hot water for his stance on the definition of marriage. That’s another area where Trump has everyone beat. Trump knows the definition of marriage perfectly—it’s between an old, very rich, multiply-divorced man and a much younger woman.
Woody Allen never ran for president, but he was ostracized for dating and then marrying his wife’s adopted daughter. That’s no issue in Trump’s mind. As he said in a 2006 interview regarding his daughter Ivanka, “she does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
Ronald Reagan was accused of mixing entertainment with politics. When asked if it was hard adjusting to being president after being an actor, he replied that he couldn’t imagine anyone being president without being an actor. But Reagan was talking about communication; Reagan called out Russia to “tear down this wall.” Trump topped the Gipper; he called out a Senator’s cell phone number.
George Bush was excoriated for raising taxes, even though it prevented the continuation of a massive deficit. Trump has a far superior solution to debt: he just declares himself insolvent. His three bankruptcies cost banks and bondholders millions. But they didn’t read his lips.
Jimmy Carter literally lost his second term bid by failing to negotiate the Iranian hostage crisis in time. Trump meanwhile has the unmatched achievement of brokering a peace treaty on Celebrity Apprentice between Gary Busey and Meat Loaf.
But don’t ever sell Donald Trump short. Anyone who can pull off that hairdo is capable of miracles.
Jim Kempton is an Orange County writer who knows one this for sure—the only group that will be totally devastated if Trump is eliminated from the Presidential race are the comedians.